Thursday, January 1, 2015

It's Real

I've really been slack on my writing - both in my journal and on here. Over the past several months, I've put too many irons in the fire it seems, and I'm having a hard time keeping up with them all. Like, one iron is having a pile of books that I want to read, most of which are borrowed. Another iron is having a new business to run..and not really seeing much success from it. And yet *another* iron is writing blogs for both personal and professional work.

And I'm drowning.

And I can't/don't want to give any of these irons up.

The question for December has been for me, "Am I enough?" My resounding answer has been "NO!" which has led to many, many days of depression as well as one instance of self harm which has led to the increase of my medicine which seems to be helping some. I actually woke up yesterday in a feeling much better and was productive - even if for just a couple of hours. Today's been the same way - I've gotten up, brushed my teeth, and tidied up the living room. However, the darkness still looms over me, ready to descend and devour my soul.

But I will be fine. I am a fighter. I will come out of this stronger than I was before.

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