Captain's Log, Day 18

WT is super excited about school. He just said, "Mom, you know what? I want to go to school." (0730) We live like 5 minutes away, so I've got a minute to get pictures. I got one of him and his dad before JP left for work. Gotta go now - he's asked about going to school a 2nd time.

So, dropped WT off at school. Super excited - had to show off his lunch box (Star Wars, of course!) I had to "intrude" to get my goodbye kiss. Came home and made breakfast. After breakfast, I washed all the silverware, utensils tray, and med cups b/c I found (and killed) 2 roaches. Super hot water, tons of soap, and soak about 5 minutes. Daddy sprayed tonight.

So after that, I went down and visited my friend. Hanging out w/her is fun - I am so totally myself (like I am w/my Bestie), and she (like my Bestie) can spot my mood changes a mile away and is willing to help me through - whether it's a hug or a kick in the ass. She inspires me to live and not just survive. I talked to her about how I feel that God does for other people and not for me. She said it was a feeling of not being worth it. She's been through it before so she knows just how I feel. She assures me that I am worthy. Well, I stay later that I had intended, so I had to rush home. Well, I missed the bus (WT rode it to Momma's), and Daddy met him. I get home and get "chewed out" by Daddy. (No yelling, but a "you need to be here when the bus gets here.") I'm thinking, "My God! I miss it once and get this? It'd be different if it was a habitual thing." Now that I'm writing this down, I'm like "He's right. It was WT's first bus ride and the driver prob had questions that I should've answered."

I'm out of CF Coke 0 - drank the last of this case tonight. Decided to alternate reg  Coke 0 w/"decaf" Coke 0. So, the next case in the fridge is regular Coke 0.

Haven't been to the gym this week. I can tell, too, b/c my back hurts from the inactivity. So, tomorrow (or later today) I'm hitting the gym and going to the library. (0035)

(Originally written 08/16/13)