Captain's Log, Day 41

I so don't want to be here at therapy. I'm going through the affair, which is making life suck right now.

I told JP the other day, when he asked, that when I walked away from him (the other guy) I walked away from my dreams. JP asked me what those dreams are, and I told him – a farm w/cows, pigs, big garden, chickens, a farm house w/both a gas stove and a wood cook stove and a summer kitchen. He told me yesterday that it bothered him a little that he wasn't part of my dreams. I told him that he was there, even though I didn't mention him. Come to think of it, I didn't mention WT either. But he's there, too. They're a given. Of course, I didn't get to finish telling him b/c my bladder called and he didn't pick it back up.

Here I was, thinking I was doing so good to handle it my way – to not talk or think about it....almost pretend it didn't happen. I got used to doing that.

So I get to the therapy appointment and am hanging out on the porch waiting for my turn. Daddy asked me before I left what time my appointment is, and I said 1100. So, anyway, I'm sitting there, thinking that she's running unusually late – that the person before me has some major issues today and needed longer. A couple of minutes later, I decided to confirm my time by looking on my calendar. I'm only 1 ½ hrs early!! So, I left and got some lunch at Zaxby's.

Brother stayed at Momma's last night after his surgery. It was like every 20 – 30 minutes he had to go potty. By this time, I've changed into my night gown and was surfing the web on my laptop in my room. Every time he'd come back to potty, he'd harass me. I finally started calling him “Crotchety Old Man.” Anyway, this morning he gets a cup of coffee – using Momma's cup that she used for hot tea last night – ad declares it tastes funny. I took a sip and recognized Momma's tea flavor. So, trying to be the helpful big sissy, I get his cup from last night and pour a cup of coffee. After I set it on the end table, he looks at it and says “What the hell is this?” It was a tea bag! I guess he'd put that there when he got Momma's cup. Oh, well. We had a good chuckle. After he finished his coffee, he was ready to go home so I drove him and walked back.

Overall, yesterday was a pretty good day. I guess b/c I had other things on my mind – Brother w/his surgery, the gym, reading, watching tv, WT, PTO. Speaking of PTO...it's so not what I was thinking. When I was in school, ours were parent-teacher conferences. This is parents and teachers coming together to talk about raising funds for the school.

Slowly but surely I'm updating my blog. I'd gotten lazy about posting, so I've got a lot of work to do. Today I need to email my list of Cubbies supplies to the church secretary.

(Originally written 09/17/13)