Captain's Log, Day 39

Ever since Brother's accident, I've not been sleeping very well – despite being tired. Like it'd be 2200 – 2300 before lights go out and then up 0330 when I wake up for a bit. Yesterday I was awake at 0430 and couldn't go back to sleep, even though I tried!

I wish the memories would stop coming. Every time I have one, I feel this enormous amount of guilt for what I've done. So much pain,

(Originally written 09/14/13)